Problems that are breaking families apart are leaving children
at risk, neglected and uncared for, and their grandparents are stepping
in to care for them. Grandparents across the country, regardless of income,
background, or race, and assuming this responsibility. They did not expect
to be parents again. Grandparents who take on this job often need help
meeting the needs of their grandchildren and with the legal, financial,
medical, educational, and emotional issues that come with this new role.
As a grandparent facing the prospect of caring "full time" for your
child/ren, think through what you want to do, what you are able to do,
and what you must do. Prepare yourself and your family as much as possible
for the challenges ahead.
And remember to take care of yourself. Your health and well-being are
critical to the health and well-being of your grandchild/ren.
If you are a grandparent who has become the primary caregiver for your
grandchild, help is available. To get that help, you need to learn how
to work with public systems such as schools, the child welfare system and
the legal system. Be aware that most are not set up to recognize grandparents
raising their grandchildren. The organization that will be involved also
vary greatly from community to community, and from state to state.
When seeking help, you will have to insist that people in authority
listen to you about your needs and those of your grandchildren. And you
need not walk this road alone. Get help from family members, friends, and
grandparent support groups. Grandparents can contact the American Association
of Retired Persons (AARP) Grandparent Information Center to obtain information
about support groups and other resources in communities across the country.
See back cover for more information.
This guide is a starting point for gathering information and getting
help. The information is organized into sections on issues and problems
of common concern to grandparents raising their grandchildren. Each section
contains a discussion about a basic issue and lists some resources that
can lead you to help.
This information can help you not only with the basic of caring for
your grandchildren but also with planning for their future.
TAKING CARE OF YOUR GRANDCHILDREN
I. Legal Issues
(custody, adoption, guardianship, kinship or relative foster care,
foster care)
How do I get the right to make decisions about and for my grandchild?
First, you should realize that the way in which you accept responsibility
for the care of your grandchild often directly influences your ability
to get assistance. Whenever possible, you should find out what the rules
and regulations are within your state before making any decisions. For
example, in some instances, signing a form with a child welfare agency
accepting sole responsibility for a child may end your rights to any foster
care payments. Always remember to ask yourself and the involved professional:
"What will happen if I..."
Parents and relatives have the legal right to make an informal child
care arrangement themselves. In some situations, you may only need an informal
agreement between you and the parents granting you authority for the child.
Problems arise when grandparents recognize a need to step in and parents
resist. If there is a dispute or the parent does not want to give you authority,
you will need legal help and court involvement. If you will be applying
for public benefits (see financial section), you will probably need some
kind of legally recognized status, such as custody, guardianship, or adoption,
that shows you are the child's primary caregiver. Generally, the important
distinctions between the types of legal status are:
Guardianship and custody give the grandparent parental
authority, but the parents have some rights, such as visitation.
Adoption gives the grandparent all authority and leaves the
parents with no rights, responsibilities, or authority over the child.
Another possibility, which is only true when the state's Child
Welfare, Agency takes custody of the grandchild, is that you may be able
to qualify as foster parents or the foster care program may recognize kinship
foster care. If you decide to stay out of the state foster care system
and take custody of your grandchild on your own, you will not receive foster
care payments.
Where Can I Look for Help?
Local Department of Social Services
Foster Care, Adoption, or Family Service Agencies
Call your local or state bar association to locate a lower with family
law knowledge. Ask if any lawyers offer probono work (assistance with no
fee) or reduced fees.
Call your local or state Legal Services office or the Legal Aid Society
and ask what assistance they can provide.
Call local universities that have law schools and law clinics and ask
if they can provide any family law services.
The local offices of your elected state officials may be able to help
in explaining relevant state laws.
II. Financial Issues
(Aid for Families with Dependent Children [AFDC], food stamps, clothing,
transportation, housing, adoption assistance)
How will I be able to afford to house, feed, and clothe my grandchildren?
There are a variety of programs that your grandchild may be entitled
to.
Aid for Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) - provides financial
payments based on the family's income or, in the case of a relative caregiver,
the child's income.
Food Stamps - based on household income.
Foster Care Payment - provides financial payments for the child
of a child who is in the custody of the state. Some states may recognize
grandparents as providers of this care.
Adoption Assistance - provides financial assistance for the
adoption of children with special needs.
Public Housing - government-owned and managed housing units
made available to low-income families, with rents determined on a sliding
scale based on income.
Supplemental Security Insurance (SSI) - financial payments based
on income.
WIC (Women, Infants and Children) - provides food assistance
and nutritional screening to low-income children up to age 5.
Where Can I Look for Help?
Contact your local or state social services office and ask specifically
about kinship foster care assistance.
Call your local or state social services or welfare office to find
out how to apply for food stamps, AFDC, and WIC.
Call the Social Security Administration about qualifying for
SSI.
Contact religious or charitable groups like Catholic Charities,
Jewish Family Services, and Family Service America for food, clothing,
transportation and general aid.
Some communities have coalitions or support groups that have come together
specifically to help with these issues. Contact the AARP Grandparent
Information Center to find out if there is a group in your area.
III. Childcare(day care, nursery school, baby-sitting)
How can I cope with the demands of caring for young children 24
hours a day?
In caring for your grandchild/ren, you may find that you need to work
or have time to yourself. Day care is now widely available in most communities
and may offer everything from a few hours each day to full-time day care
or nursery school programs. Some day care is priced on a sliding fee scale
according to your ability to pay.
Where Can I Look for Help?
Look up day care centers in the Yellow Pages.
Call your local YMCA/YWCA, Jewish Centers, Day Care Associations.
Call churches/synagogues to see if they sponsor programs.
As state or local social services or child welfare offices what assistance
they can provide. Most state governments have a child care office and some
offer financial assistance to people with low income to pay for day care
costs. Ask about federal vouchers for child care.
Ask about programs through the local school system, such as Headstart
or
before and after school care.
Find out about baby-sitting through religious or civic volunteer groups,
or baby-sitting co-ops, where each member works a few hours a week or month
supervising the children.
IV. Medical Care/Insurance
(private insurance, medical assistance, Medicaid)
How can I provide adequate medical care for my grandchild?
Under Medicare and most medical insurance policies, your grandchild/ren
will not be covered. Under certain conditions (such as adoption), some
private insurance policies may cover your grandchild. Call your insurance
carrier to find out if this possible and what steps need to be taken to
cover your grandchild as a dependent under your policy.
You may be able to get coverage from a program such as Medicaid (a health
care program for people with limited incomes) or state medical assistance.
Early Periodic Diagnosis, Screening, and Treatment (EPDST) is a program
for children covered under Medicaid that offers well baby visits including
all the normal screening, tests and treatments that a child would receive
when making regular visits to the doctor.
Where Can I Look for Help?
Call your state or local social services department to find out what
Medicaid benefits are available and how to apply for them.
Ask at the community health clinic or physician's office that is providing
service under Medicaid about EPDST.
Call your state or local public health offices or community health
center to find out if they have any low cost or free health programs such
as clinics and immunization programs for children.
V. Schooling(public school, testing, remedial education,
tutoring, records)
How can I get my grandchild enrolled and settled in school?
Once you have informal authority from the parent or legal authority,
you should be able to enroll the child in school and make any requests
or decisions about the child's education. Sometimes, the adjustment to
a new setting and the emotional adjustment required shows up in problems
at school. Be aware of this and don't hesitate to seek help through the
school or on your own with a private counselor or mental health center.
Visit the child's teacher and explain the situation Keep in touch with
the school regularly to see how the child is doing.
Where Can I Look for Help?
The school counselor and the principal can be helpful
in getting services either to help the child academically or to deal with
emotional and psychological problems.
Your local school can inform you about special education services
and programs for other special needs your child may have.
Your local school or the state governor's office should have an Office
for Developmental Disabilities that can tell you how to get services
for children with special needs, such as children with learning disabilities.
The local mental health department or association may offer or
know about programs that provide counseling or peer support groups for
your grandchild.
VI. Psychological/Emotional Issues for Grandchildren(loss,
confusion, anger)
How can I help my grandchild adjust to living with me and deal
with feelings about his/her parents?
There may be many emotional and psychological issues that the children
will face. Deal with these issues openly and promptly. Talk with your grandchild/ren
about his/her feelings and listen carefully. Seek outside help from any
resources you may have to help your grandchild/ren make a successful adjustment.
Also, realize that the world is much different for children now than when
you raised your children. Parenting your grandchild is likely to be a challenging
responsibility.
Where Can I Look for Help?
Contact your local Mental Health Department or Association. Call
the local family service agency.
Find a private therapist or social worker.
Talk to the school counselor.
Contact local clergy or religious groups.
TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
I. Psychological/Emotional Issues(stress, parent effectiveness
training, support groups)
How can I cope with the demands of parenthood at this point in
my life?
Caring for your grandchild/grandchildren is a rewarding but stressful
task. Don't forget that your health and well being are important parts
of your grandchild's future. You need to take care of yourself and you
health. Find others who understand the many feelings you will experience
as you become a parent again. Many grandparents find that support groups
help tremendously. They offer a place to share information, solutions,
and feelings with peers going through the same experiences.
Resources
To find a support group in your area contact your state Area On Aging
Department or Click below .
Contact your local mental health department or association or
the local family service agency.
Find a private therapist or social worker.
Contact local clergy or religious groups.
Enroll in parenting classes offered through local community colleges,
school systems, mental health departments, or YMCA/YWCA. You may want to
check to see if the classes are appropriate for grandparents who are raising
a second family.
Locating Resources in your Community
Throughout this guide we have suggested many public and private community
organizations. Many, but not all, of these will exist in your community.
As a place to start, look in your phone book. Government agencies and offices
are usually listed in a separate section, sometimes the "blue pages." Many
communities publish their own local phone books which have separate sections
that list community resources, such as family services, charitable organizations,
etc. Some communities have an information and referral service that you
can call for help in locating specific types of services.
You can also call your local library or elected officials' offices and
ask about locating the services or offices that you need. The library also
is a good resource for books and articles. Schools, day care providers,
community health clinics, and pediatrician's offices can also be helpful
in leading you to services and programs for your grandchild.
