Resentment
I love my grandson with all my heart
and am so glad I have him with me. But I find I look forward more and more,
to his daily naps, just so I can have an hour or two for myself. Even as
I type this, he is on my lap!
I too, resent his mom. While she
spends her money on important things like getting her tongue pierced, I'm
spending my money on diapers, clothes, toys, my keys and go. I dress a
toddler, and pack a diaper bag with baggies of food, sippy cups, toys,
diapers, wipes and extra clothes. She gets in the car and goes.
No more staying up or sleeping in
as late as I want. I go to bed when he does and get up when he does. (If
I don't, I can't keep up with him!) She brags about taking naps during
the day. I have to turn a blind on eye the mess my house has become, because
if I cleaned, I wouldn't be able to spend as much time with him. Her place
is spotless, because she's never there except to sleep. I have more pain
in my knees now, because he prefers me to stay at his level, which is on
the floor. She sees him for one to four hours, every 3 or 4 weeks and complains
that he wears her out.
BUT.......when I wake up in the morning,
the first thing I get to see is an angelic smiling face instead of an empty
bed. My days are filled with a child's laughter; warm hugs and sticky kisses.
When I go somewhere, I am the one who hears what a beautiful boy I have.
I have the honor of being the one to kiss his boo-boo's and my arms are
the ones he runs to when frightened by a strange noise. Early in the afternoon,
he climbs up in my lap and wants to "wocky" to sleep and I am the one who
holds his soft little body close to my heart while he sleeps.
I took in a child who was underweight
and sick all the time. I took in a child who was abused and neglected.
I took in a child who desperately needed love. I gave him nutritious meals,
doctor visits, medicine, lots of love and attention. What I got back is
priceless. Resentment for what I've lost or don't have? Yes, it's there.
But when it comes to unconditional love, I get it every day, all day long
and I'm wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.
