Staying Safe Online 

The Internet is an amazing thing. Without the Internet GrandsPlace would not be able to serve between 120,000 and 150,000 people a month on a budget of about $300 a year. The Internet allows us to connect over the miles between us as never before. Every night at 9 PM Grandparents and special others gather in the GrandsPlace chat room for friendship support and information. (http://grandsplace.com/gp2/chat.html) Hundreds of visitors each day log on to GrandsPlace the message boards at http://grandsplace.com/gp2//bb.html or post to the e-list at Yahoogroups.

But as wonderful as the Internet can be it is also a haven for those that would do us harm. There are a few good common sense things everyone should know to stay safe online. Unfortunately there are people that lurk online in chat rooms and visit message boards to steal your money, your identity, or otherwise make you an easy victim. Those of us fighting bios in open court cases can have something we innocently posted on the Internet used against us.
 

1 Keep your personal information private including your name, phone number, address, passwords and social security or credit card numbers. When buying online be sure to only shop from secured sites. One way you can tell if the site you are using is on a secure server is to look for HTTPS in the address bar. HTTP is not encrypted HTTPS is encrypted. It's okay to look at products on an un-secured server but the place where you put name addresses and credit card information MUST be secured. Ordering by e-mail is NOT SECURE.

2 Do not give credit card numbers to anyone unless you initiate the transaction. There are scams out there I get in my e-mail everyday from authentic looking sites such as Visa or Bank Of America telling me I have been a victim of fraud and I need to click on their website link and give me account number and pin number. The real truth is that those banks will NEVER ask you for information like that on line by e-mail. They will call or write you if they need that information and request that you go to your bank in person to fix problems of that nature.

3 When chatting online beware of innocent questions that can reveal your location and/or identity. Crafty criminals ask innocent sounding questions to find you or your child. Answering questions like "What sport do you play? What school do you go to? What's your team number?" can tell me who your child is and where you live. If your child answered "I play basketball at Weaver High School I am number 41" I could do a search and find out that Weaver High School is in Hartford CT and the name of player 41 from that school yearbook. Then I could go to a Hartford CT game and find your child and call her by name. 

4 Select a gender-neutral username, email address, etc. Avoid anything cute, sexual, diminutive, or overtly feminine. My Screen name is contrisdan derived from my first three grandchildren's names. When chatting people often mistake me for a man. 
 

5 Be Careful where you tell your secrets. When in a chat room be sure you know everyone there well before going into detail about court cases and other sensitive information. When posting to an e-list please remember that most are open to the public including the GrandsPlace List. Posting on an e-list is or message board the same as putting your business up on the bulletin board of your local supermarket. It is there for all to see. Keep personal -business to private e-mail with the people you feel comfortable with. My daughter regularly reads GrandsPlace and has tried to use my posts against me. Others have forwarded posts of mine from the e-list to her in an effort to hurt me. Danni and I have managed to weather all these storms only because I have been careful with what I write and who I let see it. Other Grands have not been so lucky.

6 Turn off the computer if you feel uncomfortable with what you are seeing on the screen. The easiest way to get out of a never-ending porn pop up site is to just pull the plug. Often those websites contain malicious programs that can infect your computer. Protect your computer by running an anti virus program and updating it daily.

7 Never agree to let children meet someone in person who they have met online. If you as an adult decide to meet someone you have been talking to online do it in the daytime in a crowded public place such as a busy mall or restaurant. I have met so many of you wonderful Grands in person during my travels but I do it carefully.

8 Don't share photos of yourself with strangers. Remember, not everyone on the Web is who they say they are. This is why I will not post the names of the children or their caregiver on the GrandsPlace Photo pages.

9 Keep Computers used by children in a public area of the house. Children are less likely to visit unsavory sites when they know you will be walking by. Make it a habit to look at the screen and ask, "What are you reading." Install and use parental controls and use a "spy" program that can track the history of the child's browsing habits. Check it often. That way you know just where the child has gone. You would never let your child go out into the world without approving of where she goes and you should treat the Internet the same way.

10. The most important rule is to talk to your kids. Instruct them to tell you if someone says or sends something that makes them feel uncomfortable. A big fear amongst children is that if they tell their parents that they will lose computer privileges. Assure them that telling you what is happening is the right thing and no parent punishes kids for doing the right things. Tell them that if someone is making them uncomfortable it's both of your jobs to stop them from hurting other children.