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GrandsPlace News -  September 2006
Great Expectations
By Kathy Reynolds

     Create Great expectations for your child! .As adults we have a lot of things people expect of us, in the workplace, in relationships and with our families. We try hard to live up to those expectations and your child does too.

Create a List of Expectations
     Children need to know what is expected of them. It's a good idea to make up a list for each child and post it inside his or her bedroom door as a reminder.  Knowing what is expected of him or her helps the child tailor behavior to achieve your approval.

Expectations Should be Reasonable
     What you expect from the child should take into account his or her age and abilities. Four-year old Kristina cannot be expected to empty the whole dishwasher but she has been taught to sort the silverware and put it away. Expecting a child that has a brain that struggles to get a C average in school should not be expected to get a perfect report card. He can only be expected to do his best.

Expectations Should be Consistent
     Danni knows that going to school and doing her homework is her job and non negotiable. She knows that unless there are extraordinary circumstances such as illness we expect her to take charge of her own education. This does not mean we do not help with homework when needed. It means we expect her to to be self motivated during study hour. She would not think of asking " Just for today can I skip my homework and do it in the morning because there is something I want to do." That's because Danni knows that we expect her to do homework right after school.
     Part of keeping expectations consistent means arranging your life so that your child can stay on track. If I say "Do your homework later because there is something I want to do".  It sends Danni the message that we Don't really expect her to keep her study hour every day.

Expectations Should be Positive
      You get what you expect. If you expect positive things from your child you will probably get them. the same is true of negative expectations. But sometimes we unwittingly encourage negative expectations on our child. Comments to the child or others such as. "I expected that from Johnny. He always fusses acts up before Dinner." tells the child that the negative behavior is normal and excusable.

Expectations Should Focus on Success
     Better to deal with the situation today and then tomorrow say something like, " Johnny I know you are tired and hungry but I expect you to behave while I cook dinner then we can play later."

     If you use great expectations as a tool for improving behavior your child's innate need to please you will help him or her live up to the success you want for him or her.

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Santa and The GrandsPlace Christmas Fund Need Your Help

I know its kind of early in the year to be thinking of the winter holidays for most people, but here at GrandsPlace we need to start now in order to provide a christmas gift under the tree of every child that needs on but who's grandparents cannot afford to provide extras like gifts.

Each year when the holiday come around we tell our children tales of Santa and reindeer that fly all over the world bringing toys to the good little girls and boys. We hit the stores on the look out for the perfect gift that will wow the children on Christmas morning.

But in some homes the advent of the winter holidays just brings stress and tears. Over 20% of grandparents that are parenting their grandchildren are living below the federal poverty level. They have enough trouble just paying the rent and putting food on the table let alone buying holiday gifts. Often a grandparent has to tell a child that Santa will not be coming to their house this year. The Child is left wondering what he did wrong that got him on Santa's naughty list this year.

GrandsPlace has teamed up with Santa to help these families but we need your help. Each year we collect money for Christmas and Hanukah gifts for needy GrandFamilies. Then On December first we divide the amount of money collected by the number of children on our Christmas List and send a check to the grandparents so she can buy gifts for her children. Its never very much. Usually about $20 per child but a small gift is better than no gift and the knowledge that Santa did not pass the children by.

To donate to the GrandsPlace Christmas Fund by credit card on PayPal log on to,

 

This link will lead you to a web safe and secure site we use for online donations.

OR send a check or money order made out to “GrandsPlace” to

GrandsPlace,
154 Cottage Rd,
Enfield CT 06082

If You Need Help

     If you are a grandparent or other Kinship caregiver that cannot provide a gift for your child please contact me before December 1st. I encourage you to apply for other programs like Toys For Tots and The Salvation Army in your communities but if your child does not qualify for those please do not let him or her go without.  send an e-mail to kathy@grandsplace.org giving the child's name, age and your name and mailing address so that I can send a gift. All requests are confidential. No one but me sees these requests and I don't gossip about the haves and the have nots. I cannot promise much. Funds are very limited but I will see that each child on our Christmas List gets a gift.

Any Questions?  Call Kathy at 1- 860-763-5789

Together we can make a difference in the life of a child.

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The GrandsPlace Virtual Quilt Do you and your children feel alone? Does your child think its weird to live with grandparents and other kinship caregivers? Then view the GrandsPlace Virtual Quilt. This Online quilt has the names of over 3,200 children living with grandparents I special others. It is living proof that lots of children do not live with parents. to see the GrandsPlace Virtual Quilt log on to http://grandsplace.org/quilt2/quilt.html
To have your child's name on our quilt send an e-mail to kathy@grandsplace.org

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The Dungeon & Kids
 by Bubbie

Reclaiming my closet was not to be. Kids --nieces, nephews and grandchildren discovered the dungeon and thought it was great fun!

This odd shaped space had no windows and no matter the time of the day could be made pitch black in darkness. This was the stuff of nightmares and scary stores.

It is also how the place got its name the kids began to call it the dungeon to the point that at one time I had a visit from social services. Yep. Word had spread and I was the lady of the Dungeon who kept kids within!

The social worker who came to take a look thought the place was cool--so the dungeon recieved the official seal of approval and when I ended up with a 6 month placement of my niece they donated a patch work quilt and began themselves to refer to the room as the "Dungeon".

Word got out--grandaughters sleep overs had to be in the dungeon. No one cared how crowded it might get.Parents came to get a look (just in case lol ).

One day screams of terror could be heard--seems the right of passage into Club Dungeon did not go over so well with 2 yr old grandson. Yep! The "sisters" had scared him silly and it took months before he would go near the place.

The Dungeon is many things--a quiet place of refuge for a weary friend--a fort to fight off evil dragons--a pre-teen club-- a room for a homeless child, a place where secrets and dreams are kept , and most of all--its a safe haven for all that have used it.

Still in use to this day the allure does not appear to be leaving anytime soon- --the one thing it will never be again--is my closet!

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GrandsPlace Chat Room

Want to "talk" live in real time with grandparents and other kinship caregivers that are living the same life as you? Join us in the GrandsPlace Chat Room! Some of us are just starting this new adventure of parenting again and others are old hands at it. This is the place to come laugh and cry, to find answers to your questions, get sympathy and advice when you are down and celebrate your successes with people that understand. Chatting is free and easy. Hope to see you there!

Chats are held nightly at 9 pm easter standard time. Join us by logging on to http://grandsplace.org/gp2/chat.html or http://grandsplace.org/gp2/chat.html.   Both sites will take you to the same chat room. For people like me that are time zone challenged it's:

9pm Eastern time
8pm Central time
7pm Mountain time
6pm Pacific time

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Recipe Of The Month

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Household Hints - Trimming The Fat

• Make soup stock and soups ahead of time and chill overnight in the refrigerator. The hardened fat can be easily lifted away with a spoon. If you're short on time, you can quick-chill a stock or soup in the freezer with the same results.
• If you're making a gravy or sauce from the meat drippings, be sure to chill first to remove all possible fat before adding your liquids and seasonings. Create sauces or gravies by adding wine and/or stock to the pan juices and cook over high heat until reduced and thickened.
• Use nonfat cooking sprays instead of butter, margarine, or oil when sauteing garlic, onions, celery, etc.. We always have vegetable, olive oil, and a refrigerated butter-flavored cooking spray in our kitchens. When using a nonstick skillet or saucepan, you won't have any problem with burning; just stir often to prevent sticking and over-browning.
• Also use cooking sprays to coat baking dishes, baking pans, and casseroles instead of greasing the pans with butter, oil, or solid shortening.
• Marinate meats and poultry in fat-free (no-oil) marinades before cooking to enhance flavors, using fresh herbs, spices, a special mustard (just a smidgeon as they are high in sodium), flavored vinegars, wine, or citrus juices. If using dried herbs instead of fresh, use 1/3 of the fresh amount.
• Baste meats and poultry with stock or wine instead of butter, margarine, or oil.
• Steam dishes to concentrate the natural flavors, instead of adding butter or margarine. Works especially well with vegetables and fruits.
• Use your microwave for fat-free cooking of vegetables, fruits, fish, and poultry -- everything cooks so quickly so that natural flavors and juices are retained.
• Use egg substitute or egg whites instead of whole eggs in your baking. One-fourth cup of liquid egg substitute or two large egg whites equal 1 large whole egg. Experiment with egg substitutes before the holiday; some are much better than others.
• Replace fat-laden whipped cream with whipped evaporated skim milk. For best results, pour the canned evaporated skim milk in a metal mixing bowl. Place the mixing bowl and the beaters of your electric mixer into the freezer for about 30 minutes, until ice crystals form around the edges. Remove the bowl and beaters from the freezer; whip on high speed until soft peaks form. Use at once.
• Use fat-free cream cheese and sour cream in your dips and spreads or make yogurt cheese by draining nonfat yogurt (without added gelatin) in a yogurt funnel or a sieve lined with cheesecloth suspended over a bowl in the refrigerator for 12 hours or overnight to extract the whey. The results will be a soft cheese with the consistency of soft cream cheese. Discard the whey and refrigerate the yogurt cheese for up to a week, discarding any liquid that accumulates.
• When purchasing meat, buy only the leanest cuts of beef, pork, lamb, and veal. Ask your butcher to help with your selections. Trim all visible fat from the meat before cooking.
• Fish is a good low-fat option to meat. The higher fat fish (bluefish, mackerel, salmon, tuna, etc.) are good sources of Omega-3 oils which medical experts claim may be a defense against some health problems.
• Roast meats and poultry on a rack to allow fat to drip away.

As long as you don't eat the skin of roasted poultry, you won't be getting any extra fat. The skin acts as a flavor-sealing envelope, keeping the flesh moist. We like to tuck herbs between the skin and the flesh of roasted chicken and turkey to heighten the flavor.

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Great Sites To Visit

For Little Kids	For Big Kids	For Grown up Kids
Alphabet Action http://www.learningplanet.com/ act/fl/aact/index.asp Kids can click on a letter to see a picture and hear the letter's name. John and El's Songs  http://www.beartime.com /tales/songs.html Click on the song that you want to hear and see! Sing along.	Fun Ranch http://www.funranch.com/ Unique collection of interactive games. All of our games are appropriate for the whole family to play and enjoy. FunBrain.com  http://www.funbrain.com/ FunBrain is the #1 site for online educational games for kids of all ages.	Do It Yourself http://www.diynetwork.com/ diy/home_improvement  Our "Home Improvement How-To Info and Home Repair Tips" help answer basic questions you may have about a Do It Yourself project.

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I wish you the gift of Security  May all that read this newsletter receive the gift of security in their persons families and possessions. May insecurity and it's causes be gone from your life and feelings of peace and safety prevail.

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All materials in this web site and newsletters are the exclusive property of GrandsPlace and nothing contained herein may be used without the express permission of the owners. For permission to reprint please contact kathy@grandsplace.org